Birdemic

Heralded by many as the new Best Worst Movie, James Nguyen's um... romantic thriller... is nothing short of a non-stop cinematic disaster. Words truly fail when it comes to trying to describe Nguyen's calamity.
Birdemic is follows a young couple through their early days of courtship, only to inexplicably throw them into the middle of an avian attack. The story is really that simple with the occasional "Global Warming will kill us all" threat, which is never as subtle as you suspect this third time director intended. But then that would imply Nguyen had some talent, or any, or employed talent, or was possibly even aware at all of what talent might look like were it to fly into his face and explode, like his CGI birds do. CGI in this case meaning copying and pasting the same three frames of a bird floating and filling the sky with them... until they make dive bombing sounds and explode, this is a literal translation of the threat that these birds pose. It's scary.
But Best Worst Movie? That invokes Troll 2, and I think we all know what a marvelous disaster that was, if you don't, I suggest you stop playing video games for 90 minutes and wallow in the shocking terror that is Troll 2.
Is this on par with such greats as The Room, Blood Feast or even Plan 9 from Outer Space?
Sadly, despite it's car crash nature and genuinely horrible technical elements, and trust me referring to anything in this film as technical is an insult to a pencil, it's missing the naive charms of the aforementioned.
Sure when you watch Blood Feast or Troll 2 you honestly wonder how anyone could have thought they were making a great film, but there's a charm and a level of appreciation in their craft work, it might be misguided or quite possible even broken, but it's there.
Birdemic: Shock and Terror is missing that, acting so terrible that you are reading the lines off your hand is different from terrible to the point of being unable to walk down the street naturally.
That said, any fan of bad cinema should not miss the chance to catch the up and coming movie genius that is James Nguyen introduce Birdemic at it's UK premire this Friday, 28th May at the Curzon Soho. This film really must be watched with beer, in a roomful of people.

Achtung!!!!

We are very excited to announce our website is now up, not running fully, but up and rocking with all the important information that needs to be seen right away.
So now I can go back to posting on here without fear of losing anything down through the bloggy abyss.

Please set your little arrow to click here:
Cigarette Burns Cinema


This makes us very happy!!!!

7th June

3rd May

Godzilla! This is gonna be a cracking one!!!

I have realised that this blog may not be suiting Cigarette Burns' purposes, the main reason for it is to keep people up to date on what we are showing. Unfortunately, due to the nature of blogs shifting content lower and lower down the page and eventually into the oblivion of "older posts" posting anything other than what is coming next is rather defeatist in nature.
So we are working on a new more sensible alternative, hopefully up and running in the next few weeks. It will enable us to post articles without losing the important info.
I'm quite excited about this, and it's just one of the coming changes.... exciting, eh? I bet you're shitting yourself in anticipation.

Big thanks to Andy of V2

6 Million Light Years Beyond Reality!!!!

While the US was farting about with Cap'n Kirk and his pointy eared mate Spark, Japan was busy setting Ultraman on giant outer space monsters intend on flattening the small island nation.


Come the 70s, Ultraman and the spin offs were everywhere and not getting tired.
Next on the black was Kamen Rider. Halfway through season one, Kamen Rider One injured himself, which is a bit lame for a cyborg. But fear not, he was joined by Kamen Rider Two. Who admittedly looks strikingly similar, but they didn't have a lot of time to plan.
by the time Kamen Rider V3 appeared on the scene, this surprisingly darker ancestor of the Mighty Morphen Power Rangers had made Hong Kong terribly jealous of their lack of superheroes.


What should we do, Batman?
Call in the Shaw Brothers!!!



Who delivered unto the world, China's first, and for all intents and purposes, last, super hero - Super Inframan!!!!

Come join us on 3rd May, Bank Holiday Monday for the attack of the Princess Dragon.

5th April

Dust the dirt off...

My deepest apologies for the extended period of silence.

Business then pleasure -

Business:
Mad Monster Party will be showing at the Mucky Pup on 5th April, we are struggling with picking out of several short options we have, but promise they will be good.
How about a trailer of MMP for the time being?


Now it's true you have seen this on the blog before, that's because we love it and well, you should as well. But before it was just for webtainment, now it's for real.
So see you on the 5th!

Pleasure:

I saw Millennium: Girl with the Dragon Tattoo about six months ago and it sucked me in then. I ranted and raved about it, but when know one knows what you're on about, they tend to ignore you or forget until it's relevant.
Well it's relevant.



Make no mistake about it, GwtDT is a tightly twisted thriller, recalling the bygone days of Agatha Christie's enveloping tales, mixed with enough of the modern day and relevancy to keep it out of the realms of Miss Marple.
Dark, and when I say dark, I mean it, this is an unflinching look at some dirty underbellies that are often glossed over.
Currently playing at both the Rio and the Screen on the Green, go watch it.



Last night I went and saw Ghost Stories at the Lyric Theatre in Hammersmith.
If you are unfamiliar with Ghost Stories... well you may just have to remain that way. I'm not one who spoils things, sorry.
But I can supply you with a quote from co-creators Andy Nyman (Derren Brown & Dead Set) and Jeremy Dyson (League of Gentlemen) -
“As die-hard horror fans, we've dreamt of doing a show like this since we first met each other at the age of 15. We are incredibly excited at the prospect of enthralling, thrilling & scaring people in the theatre, it really is a dream come true for us.”
I promise you these guys know their stuff and your money will be well spent checking out their expressionist extravaganza with influences ranging from your classic anthology series' such as Tales from the Crypt and a fair bit of The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari thrown in, it had me loving it from the onset.



That's me done til I have some more news to share.
Hope to see you on the 5th.

Nowhere to go?

then see you tomorrow at the Mucky Pup

Nazis!!!

Here's a fun little short that Kirkland over at Toybot Studios found:

1945A from Ryan Nagata on Vimeo.

Nothing like giant Nazi spider tanks, huh?

If you're not familiar with TbS, it's a fantastic blog collecting all sorts of toy news from Japan and the States. Kirkland dedicates a phenomenal amount of time and energy into it and takes some top pictures.
Not your normal fare from CB, but it's wacky toys and I like them, so have a perusal.

Halloween Before Christmas

Below is the new trailer from Rafa Martinez, he of Zombies and Cigarettes renown. It doesn't give much away (possibly because the only Spanish I speak are the few bits of vulgarity my old Puerto Rican friends taught me, though I do ok at ordering Mexican food) but clown masks and little girls are almost always scary. Not to mention how well executed Z&C was, I look forward to following the developments of this project.

Teaser Halloween before Christmas from Rafa Martínez on Vimeo.