Wednesday, 30 June 2010

Everything on the interweb super motorways should be free

Though the Powers That Be seem to disagree, kicking back with all their Luddite like fear of changing with the times, it appears that slowly but surely they are bending. Releasing their Vader grip and allowing us more free stuff.
Free stuff is great!
Who doesn't like free?
Cigarette Burns is free and who doesn't like us? (rhetorical question so don't bother)

Though it is sad and regretful that places such as Archway Video have been hit hardest by our ability to get every film we could want without ever having to leave the comfort of our chair, it's inevitable. As we mourn the passing of our dear friend the VHS, we will soon wax lyrically about the video shops that once contained those treasure.
But such is progress, we must move forward or die forgotten.
To that end, I am pleased to thrust another sword at the hearts of the soon to be past and share a lovely little secret with you:

How fucking awesome is this!?!?!?!
Here's the list of films and the release dates, from which point they will be available for a year, for free!
Ju-On White Ghost (2009) - July 5th
Ju-On Black Ghost (2009) - July 6th
Tokyo Gore Police (2008) - July 7th
Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl (2009) - July 8th
X-Cross (2007) - July 9th
Starfish Hotel (2006) - July 12th
Samurai Princess (2009) - July 13th
Goth: Love of Death (2008) - July 14th
Battle Royale (2000) - July 15th

Anyone wanna pop round to mine on the 9th for some X-Cross action?

Plus Day of the Dead will be available from the 15th as well.

I have been spending several late nights wandering through Indie Films Online and not getting enough sleep.


Saturday, 26 June 2010

Mike Sutfin

Seems that Mike has awoken from a period of locking himself in some remote cave where he has been busy pounding out one spectacular bit of artwork after another.
Check out Mike's stuff at his blog.
He's nearing completion and release of his first vinyl toy, Mad Battle Man, in the making for over a year and with an intensely detailed sculpt, you know this will kill when he hits it with his magic warrior paintbrushes.

Battle on, indeed.

Aside from being a wicked artist, stand up guy and all around good egg, Mike was once in Charles Bronson, check some of that shit out and get your ears bleeding!

Weer all crazee now

Psychosis is hitting DVD next month, looking like a mash up of Polanski's classic Repulsion, a touch of Peckinpah's Straw Dogs to me the most important element is the metalhead and the fake punks. Seriously, I say bring back the 80's. I want punks and metalheads throwing horns guzzling booze and getting their heads kicked in.

Charisma Carpenter, of Buffy and Angel fame (but more confusingly not related to John as the name and career might suggest) has moved into a lovely new home, which may or may not be haunted. Regardless, the local alternative scene seem pretty intent on driving her mad while her husband, British model Paul Sculfor, plays dumb.

We also get loads of kids looking tough in the trailer.
Check out Mr Metalhead's hard as nails DIY work.
Obviously at this point, we know Carpenter is seeing things. No Metaller worth his denim would be caught dead painting window trim white.
This hits DVD on 19th July.

Cigarette Burns loves a good dose of British horror and we're massive fans of the newest wave, so we will definitely be keeping an eye on this one.

Thursday, 24 June 2010

Triumph or disaster?

Predator is back.
Those three words teeter on the edge of glee and terror. So many films are being revisited, most unjustly. Remakes, like Friday the 13th are more often than not a waste of time. Predators, even with Adrian Brody, looks like it might be ok. The combination of Robert Rodriguez and the scariest man on earth, Danny Trego might be just enough to pull Brody back from his terrible (yet delightful) excursion with Argento in Giallo.
Watching this trailer, I can't help but hope that the Predators win. What a wonderful way to mix things up. We all prefer the Predators to their human counterparts anyway, don't we?
The ultimate anti hero.

Monday, 21 June 2010

He's figured it out!!!

So there are all these scripts and films lounging Development Hell, unlikely to see the light of day or even get a chance to dip their little toes into the swirling Seas of Cinema. Many of these are films that, you know, maybe shouldn't be made, some are films that for whatever reason, no one can quite get their heads around.
Every now and then, a visionary steps forward and says "Fuck you all! This is a film that MUST be made." No matter how ridiculous. These are the films that we at Cigarette Burns thrive on.

Case in point - Mega Piranha, Tiffany's latest salvo in her long running teeny bopper war with Debbie Gibson. How could Debbie Gibson get to be in Mega Shark v Giant Octopus and not expect retaliation from Mall Queen Tiffany? She couldn't have thought she was alone, now, could she?

The same folks that brought you the aforementioned epic battle of oversized sea creatures are brightening our lives with this gem. Asylum are known for capitalising on other people's fortunes by releasing low low budget interpretations of recent blockbusters, and Mega Piranha is no different with Alexander Aja's Piranha 3D on the horizon, why not pump out their own?
It certainly looks like we have a classic on our hands. I wasn't very sold on the Mega Shark v Giant Octopus trailer, but this trailer has genius written all over it.

That, my friends is how you make an entertaining trailer.
We could go through that point by point and single out every gem of greatness that is tucked away inside those 90 seconds, there's loads of them... From the realisation that it wasn't terrorists to the under exuberant "fire" - brilliant!

Limited London theatrical release from July 16th with a DVD release to follow on August 9th.

Thursday, 17 June 2010

Game on!!!

A few years ago Marvel finally got their act together, special effects were finally up to the challenge and we reaped the rewards of super hero films that actually entertained.
Spiderman was no longer being hoisted up the side of a building, the X-Men could take on Magneto with laser beams & telekinesis and the Fantastic Four were able to send the Human Torch flying through the streets of New York City.
The defining moment for me, the moment when I knew they had this covered and could make the panels come to life was when The Silver Surfer flew through the Lincoln Tunnel (or was it the Holland?)
There have been some duffs along the way, but that was down to scripting for the most part, something that has always baffled me since the scripts and the story boarding has already been done for most comic book sourced films, but I digress.
This year saw the release of a new beast, a beast destined to redefine the genre, possibly more than Christopher Nolan and his Batman films. Dark and gritty though they are, they should always have been that way, (Tim Burton's films and the subsequent franchise really just modernise a dated 60s TV show) Nolan just proved that dark was commercially viable.

No, this year saw Kick Ass, kick ass.
Any comic book fan would be telling you one giant lie if s/he said they'd never lied back on their bed and fantasied about fighting crime, or being the villain. Kick Ass was something one could relate to, it did what films are meant to do, it allowed us to live out our fantasy and it did it flawlessly.

Today, Edgar Wright's Scott Pilgrim Vs The World sees it's UK trailer officially released exclusively through The Guardian.
And holy trailer Batman!!! This looks set to seriously upset the Kick Ass apple cart.
Combining the superhero genre with the video gamer's mental power bar is a stroke of genius, but then what else would you expect from Mr. Wright? He was toying with this stuff back in '99, more than 10 years (holy shit! Really?!) on, you bet he's got his shit together!!! And with a track record that reads like a list of desert island must haves, I see nothing but win for Scott Pilgrim.

Check out the trailer at The Guardian's page here and while you're there... you might was well watch the Kick Ass trailer again, ya cunts!

Sunday, 13 June 2010


Presented without comment:

Friday, 11 June 2010

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

End of an era

So Ed has officially passed the torch. It has to be said that as torch passing ceremonies go, last night was a belter, complete with cake, provided by the lovely red and black enigma that is Lil Claire.

(Sadly this terrible phone photo does it no justice at all)

Ed put together a wonderful collections of personal shorts. I've had a fair few requests about them and so decided I'll post them here.

Jonny Bower, Ed & Varrick Zed's
Fiend of the Fell

And the epic that is
Eraser Ed
Directed by Jonny Bower and starring the magical Ed Zed

Next month is all lined up and ready to go, but I'll post the trailer and poster up in a day or so.
In the meantime enjoy these films.

Saturday, 5 June 2010


The time is upon us once again to venture into the world of weird with none other than Mr. John Waters and Kathleen Turner in Serial Mom as she slays her way through suburbia.
We hope that you will make every effort to come down and join us as in addition to our normal fun, Ed has convinced Troubadour Rose to come along and twang a few ditties for your aural enjoyment.
We do take care of you, don't we? Sight and sound covered.

As this is a bit of a farewell for Ed, we are starting earlier than usual, so get down for 7ish and lets see where the night takes us, shall we?

I'll leave you with these interesting little bits I found while web trawling...