Monday, 23 November 2009

Turkish Horror... a bit more...

Something about this stuff really really excites me!!!

Ok, so it seems a bit like The Exorcist starring Eddy from Iron Maiden, but I'll watch it!

My understanding is that this was pretty successful, only just stumbled upon it now, so can't tell you much, and as I'm in the middle of a couple other things, I'm being economical with my time.

This is the one that made me think of this today -

ADA: Zombilerin Düğünü from mfa on Vimeo.

Another [rec] influenced one, but looks like it could be interesting.

This is the trailer that got me interested in Turkish Horror originally, I saw it ages ago and totally forgot about it.

It's by the same guy who did Semum, and obviously the original D@bbe, it looks a bit like Ringu meets computer virus meets the infected from [rec]. Again, it may not take much, but I'm sold.
Part of what intrigues me about these is the religious element, I have always been a sucker for religious horror movies, Stigmata, The Exorcist, The Omen, Rosemary's Baby etc, seeing the inclusion of the Islamic faith excites me as it's a new take for me.
Also, they look as influenced by East Asian & European Cinema (which stands to reason) as they do from more standard American Cinema... Perhaps more so.

So yeah, I'm writing down a list and taking it with me next time I go for a meze around the corner.

Also, in mega super shit your pants kind of news, while Criterion have been dragging their heels and in possesion of the rights to this for a while and dropping tease after tease for years... The wonderful, lovely, better than the easter bunny and the tooth fairy combined people over at Masters of Cinema have just announced that they are releasing none other than the fantastic Hausu in the UK on 25th January, (my birthday is in Feb... just saying) with extras and a booklet, MoC have never released a bad DVD, quality products and packaging, worth every penny.
And check out this cover!

Want a trailer as well?
Why not!

Up till now, this has been available from rather dubious sources, so for it to get the long over due respect it deserves is very exciting!

Thursday, 19 November 2009

7th December

Yup, it's that time of the month where we unveil the poster.
this month we would like to thank Willbot of willnotcompute for his rather enchantingly bizarre artistic abilities.
Check out his other work, here's one of my favourites (he doesn't just do red and black I promise)

Expect to see more from this man.

Wednesday, 18 November 2009


So last night, Ed and I wandered down to Cinema Ferox in Stockwell last night, I won't lie, we were tired and would rather not have ventured to the Land of the Fallen Brazilian.
But being true to our word and the intrepid folks we are, we fought through the biting cold and drowsy heads and settled down to what has got to be the most fantastic insane bit of cinema we have ever seen and I, personally, am wildly jealous that Luke got to screen it, but thrilled that he did. A bit embarrassed that I hadn't heard of it before, if I'm honest. But that's the great thing about doing this, always finding out about new things.

I really like the phrase "Bat shit crazy" and I used it for Hausu. However after seeing The Boxer's Omen, I have a sneaking suspicion that the phrase was originally coined immediately after the first screenings of this bundle of Hong Kong mayhem.
Originally released in 1983, as Mo, in the bubbling cauldron of the Shaw Brothers production house, riding on a wave of other martial arts based horror films, this Kuei Chin-Heng creation is nothing short of an exhausting, mind numbing, what-the-fuck-did-I-just-see?!relentless barrage of visual tongue twisters. Vivid Giallo influenced lighting only adds to the beauty of this film.

See it with friends, see it on your own, just see it!

Here's a taster-

We love this!!!!
Thank you Luke - you are a top man in our books!

Saturday, 14 November 2009

om nom nom...

The best news story of the day is once again thanks to the BBC, with this gem.

Nothing wrong with a bit of cannibalisim I say.
I mean who hasn't wondered what their lover's thigh might taste like?

And what could go better with a thigh than a bottle of piraat?
Settling back with a glass of Belgian beer and discussing the insanity swirling about our heads.

Come to think of it, I hear a barstool near a fireplace calling my name...

Thursday, 12 November 2009

Paranormal Activity

So this film has been making festival rounds for a while and building up momentum online, thanks in part to Paramount Pictures backing what started out as a small budget terror packed haunted house picture.

Personally I don't think that this trailer does the film justice and actually made me not want to see the film.

With much of the suspense building, reaching truly terrifying levels shot from a stationary camera in the couple's bedroom.
Obvious cries of "Blair Witch - gag! - beating a long dead tired horse" will be heard drifting up from the cynical masses, among which, until last night, my voice would have been heard.

But no, like a man bound for Damascus, I realised the wrongs of my ways and have become a fervent supporter of Paranormal Activity.
Yes, it is dripping with Blair Witch Project influence, but PA learned lessons from BWP, changed things to a more manageable and believable plot and removed the snivelling whiny fuck wits, replacing them with 2 surprisingly sympathetic and realistic characters.

Few things give me that fidgety sense of unease and it's not since Blair Witch that I have heard grown men squeal in anticipatory terror, and I'll even admit to a proper "oooooooooooooooooooh shhhhhhhhhhhhhhit..." as I pulled back in my chair.

(there's one FUCKING AWESOME thing that really had me psyched and sold!!! I wish I could rant about it without it being a spoiler!!! Gah!!!)

So, yeah, go see this, but try to avoid people telling you to much, it's best seen cynical and blind.

I'll have a proper review up at the Quietus shortly.

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Tucker & Dale vs Evil

I'm not a fan of comedy horror, it is so very rarely done well. When this was described to me I thought it might be the best thing ever. Unfortunately they play up to the comedy aspect, which I hate. If it was played straight, I think I'd enjoy it more.
I'm also afraid that they may have stuck all the funny bits in the trailer.

All my whinging aside, this may still prove to be funny.

Saturday, 7 November 2009

We accept her, one of us

We accept her, one of us, we accept her, one of us!
Gooble gobble gooble gobble!
We accept her, we accept her!
We accept her, one of us, we accept her, one of us!
Gooble gobble gooble gobble!
We accept her, we accept her!

(We-we) we came, we saw, we kicked it's ass,
I was testing you - and you passed,
Dental plan! Lisa needs braces,
Be required to fart on a regular basis,
I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse,
Channel 13 - Eyewitness news!
Robocop, who is he?
Dead or alive you're coming with me.

In a hurry to be fed, beady eyes and big blue head.

I'm telling the truth Doc, you gotta believe me,
Why does everything I whip leave me?
My beautiful chocolate! Candy is dandy,
Fava beans and a nice Chianti,
You can count on Slippery Pete,
Suicide will be nice and neat!
I didn't build the Panama canal,
Open the pod bay doors please, HAL,

These aren't the droids you're looking for,
These aren't the droids we're looking for,
I am not a number I am a free man!
To The Idiotmobile!
Right away Michael,
I-I-I-I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered.

We came, we saw, we kicked it's ass,
You don't understand I coulda had class,
Round and tasty on a bun,
Ooh Zippy look what you've done!
Finally! Cast off those lines!
No, I've been nervous lots of times,
Red Rum! What's the matter honey?
Just robbed Boss Hogg all of his money!

We came, saw, we kicked it's ass,
Writing checks your body can't cash,
I was elected to lead, not read,
I feel the need - the need for speed,
Watch out for snakes, a good man's loafer,
HQ - my hat looks like a muffin - over,
My god it's full of stars,
There was no driver in the car..

In the car (repeat)

Well you see I'm in hot pursuit!

There are only two things I love in this world - everybody and television!
#The Simpsons
#Run With Us!
Ugh - you must be shrooming,
Wait for me Moomin!
Cross live to meet the host of that show, Meat Boy,
I want to go to there.

We came, we saw, we kicked it's ass,
An oil tycoon - like a.. moustache,
Nice beaver! I just had it stuffed,
I don't give a shit, close enough,
Where's me washboard? I'll get me coat,
Y-y-y-you're gonna need a bigger boat,
What'd she say? I think she bought it,
Suck it monkeys! I'm goin' corporate!
C'mon let's take a drive! A drive?
Number 5 is alive!
It's only a laugh, no harm done,
Pickles, french fries, yum yum yum,
Bueller, Bueller, Bueller,
It's 2 degrees cooler,
The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long,
Six words in the whole song.

We-we-we accept her, one of us, we accept her, one of us!
Gooble gobble gooble gobble!
We accept her, we accept her!
You are number 6 5 4 3 2
I am not a number, I am a free man

We came, we saw, we kicked it's ass,
Give me my 20,000 in cash,
We came, we saw, we kicked it's ass,
I think you woke up the dead with that blast
We came, we saw, we kicked it's ass,
I think fast, I talk fast,
We came, we saw, we kicked it's ass,
Lois, this is not my Batman glass.


It would seem that in every film's life, it must be faced with a remake, some are deserving of this, some, most aren't.
For instance, crowd favourite Let the Right One In is being remade, or readapted by Matt Reeves, he of Cloverfield fame... yeah, you should take a moment to let that settle.
Principal Photography as officially begun on Let Me In, expect people across the globe to continue to bitch and complain louder and louder in the coming months. This blasphemous excursion into the realms of Swedish vampires will be given a distinctly American feel, relocating the snowy, lonely pre teen isolation of the original film to... New Mexico.
Then there is the baffling case of the classic Revenge flick, I Spit on Your Grave. I have always respected this film, in much the same way you might respect a lion when stuck in his cage. It's a beast of a movie. A disgusting troubling mind rape of 90 minutes that leaves you shivering in a shower. Make no mistake, when you watch the original uncut version, it will stay with you, lingering in the background and flashing back.
I recently saw a UK version of this original Video Nasty, and I have to say, the cutting of those minutes made all the difference, it castrated the movie, made you wonder what all the fuss was about and questioned why they would even make the film.
Whereas the original uncut, you question why they made the film, what depraved minds thought this would make a good thing to burn to celluloid, but you understand the fuss and you can appreciate the beast.
Now for some reason the powers that be have decided they will remake a film about a woman who gets brutally gang raped, and tortured, repeatedly by 3 rednecks. Regains her composure, loses her mind and goes all out to make them pay.
This is gritty, realistic filthy and horrid to watch. Why would you remake that? How would you remake that?
You can't not in today's PC world, where we have to be overly self aware and cautious about offending anyone.
On top of that, part of the films success is it's inherent video nastiness. pretty much achievable only in the 70s with the grindhouse or infantile video markets. This I Spit on Your Grave need never grace a silver screen again.
It was, like many films, of it's time and capturing those moments again or rebooting it for a new era is a mistake and impossible.
Just leave well enough alone, please?

In other news, Evil Dead will be hitting the big screen again, at the moment only in the US and Canada, but none the less that is exciting.

Friday, 6 November 2009

Sherlock Holmes

I know this is sort of out of the general CBC remit, but I'm kind of looking forward to this.
Here's the latest trailer of Sherlock Homes with Robert Downey Jr.

Actually now that I think of it, I plugged the upcoming Wolfman film, so I can plug this as well.
I am particularly fond of the rather untraditional approach to the time honoured and much revered Holmes story. Begone Basil Rathbone, and let us welcome the opium smoking drug addict that was Sherlock Holmes.

Monday, 2 November 2009

Sunday, 1 November 2009

Halloween Spectacular - final installment

The wonderfully talented Silver Whimsy lend us her amazing baking skills and not only chronicled the event on her blog, but also did a great little write up on her CBC experience, so take a few minutes and tease your taste buds on her Confessions of a Hampstead Baker blog.