WITCH!!

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Danger Danger

Frightfest Report

My Film4 Frightfest report will be updated once a day over at the Quietus and you can read it here

Frightfest Attacks!!!!

Oh my god!
5 days of sitting on your bum in a cinema in front of a giant fucking screen watching non stop horror!!!
Bring it on!!!

The first day saw the usual technical hiccups, and new levels of controversy we haven't seen since the 80's. at the last minute, 2 films have been attacked and trimmed down by the BBFC. The much feared and whispered about A Serbian Film, has lost 4 minutes, forcing the Frightfest organisers to pull the film and scurry about for a replacement. Similarly the remake of the 70's rape revenge classic, I Spit on Your Grave has lost 45 seconds. Word is that that doesn't take away from the overall impact, so for better or worse, we'll still be seeing that.
Expect me to complain later.
Day one brought us the darling of Frightfest, Adam Greens's première of Hatchett II, an homage to 80's slasher flicks is basically a forgettable string of set pieces lumped together. Fun while it lasts, but thank you sir, may I have another.
Followed by a fun little Aussie romp, Primal, an interesting take on zombie/infection lost in the wilderness tale. Witty, entertaining, fast paced.
Brit vampire flick, Dead Cert started to late my lil ol' me, but words is, it's pants. Poor Danny Dyer.
Night one is behind us and Frightfest started off on a light hearted foot. Lets see where we end up, huh?

Night of the Diabolik

We at Cigarette Burns Towers have a fantastic month in store for you, 2 films that in many ways couldn't be further apart, yet can equally snuggle up together and keep each other warm on a cold winter night.

Monday, 6th September sees us charging into the American Mid West where a plague of giant killer... um... bunnies? Bunnies... yup that what it says... Giant Killer Bunnies... Like cute fluffy ones?

Yup?

With giant pointy teeth?

Nope.

Just normal bunnies? Only bigger?

Yup...

So giant killer cute bunnies?

YES! Giant cute bunnies!

ok...

A Plague of giant killer bunnies is ravaging the countryside and only Janet Leigh and Bones of Star Trek (the original, not the JJ Abrams one) can save the planet from the potential dangers of Giant Killer MUTANT Bunnies in 70s eco warning Night of the Lepus!

Saturday, 11th September, we will be showing the classic Euro Spy, super hip swinging 60s kaleidoscope of fun and uber hip, Danger: Diabolik.

From the producers of Barbarella and directed by the Legendary master Mario Bava, during his brief excursion away from the horror genre, Danger: Diabolik is non stop visual feast. The outstanding soundtrack is provided by none other than the maestro himself, Ennio Morricone, which will you will be scouring the internets for a copy of the OST for the next few weeks, I promise.

As Cigarette Burns Cinema is more often than not located in a pub and we are now venturing into a proper cinema, we were worried about how we could make this a bit more special than a regular night at the movies. To this end, we will have a DJ and be serving drinks until 2am, so get your tickets from here in advance, a measly £7, and more than worth it.

For those of you who might be unfamiliar with Dalston and the Rio Cinema, both are very easy to get too and from, there's the London Overground for you train types and buses, from London Bridge or Liverpool St theres the 149 and the 242, Holborn/Waterloo the 243 or the 76.

Hope to see you for a night to be remembered!

Trailers for both films on our main site here

Night of the Long Shorts Cont'd

As Saturday draws closer and everything seems to be coming together, fingers are tightly crossed in CBHQ that everything will run as smoothly as it looks like it may.
All parties involved have put in endless hours of work and I'm guessing when Chu-I and Tijuana Brothers member Surfing Kurt hit those decks at the end of the night, there's gonna be a lot of hair being let down.
Not that we are known for being the reserved type when it comes to indulging in a bit of tipple.

In the meantime, we are getting some lovely words spewed forth about us, Rue Morgue, one of the worlds largest and most respected Horror magazines did a little piece on Night of the Long Shorts here. May I suggest that you not stop reading what they have to say just about us, and get lost on their site, better yet, track a printed copy down.


Then today, we were fortunate enough to get a write up on another great horror blog, Brutal as Hell. Which has always been one of my personal favourites as they tend to steer clear of the more adolescent side of things and take a fair and educated appraoch to difficult films like A Serbian Film and Antichrist (if memory serves there's a great article on there about the upcoming I Spit on your Grave remake). Anyway, have a gander here.


I would like to point out that Josh isn't the only element of Cigarette Burns Cinema, there's a lot of us who all do their thing and help out and have helped out to make it what it is. Whether it's Ed, Matt or Will playing the face for the evening or Andy at V2 designing our artwork, or Angus serving you pints, there's a lot going on beyond this screen.

Enough with the soppy shit - We're hitting the Rio Cinema in September muthafuckas!!!!
Proper big screen. Howsabout dem apples, huh?!
More on that later...

Night of the Long Shorts

Busy busy busy bees over here in Cigarette Burns HQ.
Night of the Long Shorts is creeping ever closer, but getting ever better.
On 7th August we will invade the Rosemary Branch's theatre and screen some of the best horror shorts we could find, a wonderful mix of zombies, ghosts, brutal killings, sexy ladies and twisted murders await you in our den of video nasties.

I can promise you that you have not seen the majority of these films.
And certainly not shown on a nice lovely big screen.
We're really chuffed that we will have several of the film makers and actors in attendance to say a few words, intro their films and generally liven up the evening.
Check out the Facebook Page for more info.

The great blog Gore Press did a great little write up for us and of course we tip our hat to them with a massive thank you. Gore Press is a well written blog, that deserves your time and among the very few we bother with.

Otherwise, of course we have Wild Zero coming up on the 2nd.


Contray to what the poster says, prizes will be donated by Flashback and the Rio Cinema in Dalston.


Cuz we only work with the bestest people we can xxx

Mega Piranha Reviewed

Words fail to convey the sheer astonishment that overwhelms you when you settle in to watch Mega Piranha.
Hearkening back to the mutated beasts of the scifi classics of the 50’s, mixing in a sizable chunk of 80’s cheese and disregard for logic and firmly placing their tongue in their cheek, SyFy has come up with a true classic of a film.
There is nothing about this film that leads one to believe it was borne out of anything but love for the ridiculous, the special effects are disastrous, but strangely effective, the acting is dire, but endearing, the script borders on the retarded but adds to the flavour, the title, Mega Piranha, tells us, without a doubt, we are in for something special.
Starring Tiffany, she of 80s pop fame, a counter attack to Debbie Gibson’s recent appearance in SyFy’s Mega Shark v Mega Octopus, which, it must be said, is lacking the charm that Mega Piranha has. Tiffany plays a scientist who has been trying to genetically modify food stuffs and though, quite understandably, that if she is trying to grow giant corn, she ought to test this out on animals, before she starts messing with the corn. What better animal to mess around with than the piranha? I mean, they are only little, seem cute and harmless, what could go wrong by making them bigger? As it turns out, quite a lot. They will pretty much eat anything, boats, big boats, submarines, helicopters and for a change, even towns. Indeed, nothing is safe from these mega piranha who just keep growing and growing and growing.
But all is not lost! No, Barry Williams aka Greg from the Brady Bunch, steps in as some shady top US Government official and sends out his top man, Special Agent Fitch, played by American Soap Opera Star Paul Logan, to save the day. Fitch wastes little time in literally kicking some piranha ass, but complications arise when the Venezuelan military decide to unleash all hell on the river containing the piranha and in a hail of helicopter delivered bombs, missiles and bullets, releases them into the ocean, where they set a course for Florida.... as piranhas are known to be fans of sun bathing and frat parties, it only makes sense.
All hell has broken loose, the hounds have been released and even the might of the US Military can’t save the world!!!
Will Tiffany live to sing another day? Will Greg Brady ever get laid?! Will Fitch be able to kill the Piranha and save them all from a fishy death??!
Well, you’ll really really have to see the film to find out.
Conveniently for London based folks, the lovelies at Way to Blue have set up a special screening at the Alibi on Kingsland Road in Dalston on 12th Monday.
I strongly suggest you head down there for some insane, pointless giant fish fun.


More piranha action here

Film4 Frightfest line up announced

The men behind the curtain have finally revealed what August Bank Holiday holds in store for us all, more info here

Personally looking forward to this one on the Bank Holiday Monday